Pets: When It's Time to Say Goodbye

When my vet told me my 15-year-old black lab mix was terminally ill, I was only mildly surprised. This time I knew the signs. I could do nothing but make Scooby comfortable until the cancer took its toll, then stay with him as he was put to sleep. It was the second most difficult decision of my life.

Which leads me to the first. A few years ago, weeks after my father passed away, my 95-pound golden retriever mix began wheezing and wobbling when he played. I took him to the vet where the excited Oscar, 11, promptly had another attack, severe enough to scare the vet and send me to my knees sobbing by his side.

Two months later, after countless X-rays and fluid removals, after force-feeding Oscar pills, flax oil, and carrot juice, we still didn't know what was killing him. I hauled him to work with me, lifting the poor dog's now 75-pound body into my Civic. At night, I slept beside him as he wheezed on the floor. Could this be the same dog who months before tore me off my feet with Marmaduke-like strides? I should have admitted it was time to let go the day he laid down in a compost pile, refusing to get up, but instead I awaited the latest test results, still hoping for a miracle cure.

How do you know when to hang on and when it's time to let go?

• Treatable vs. terminal - The only thing more difficult than finding out your pet has a terminal disease is not knowing his chances at all. Scooby's terminal diagnosis allowed me to focus on assuring his comfort in the end, but Oscar's undiagnosed condition left me wondering if I was doing what was best for him or simply trying to ease my pain. The sooner you secure a diagnosis, the sooner you can research the treatment options available. Putting it off for fear of bad news won't do anything except worsen your pet's condition, and you'll be left wondering "If only ..."

• Quality of life - Ask yourself this. If my pet could speak, what would she ask me to do, heal her or let her go? Look to your pet for signs. Is she still enjoying life? Does she wag her tail when you come home? Does she still beg for her favorite treats? Are the treatments you're giving her making her feel better? You know your pet's personality better than anyone, how she yawns when she gets nervous, how she piddles on the floor when she gets excited. Listen to what she's telling you.

• The money factor - It's easy to say you'd spend every last cent to keep your pet around — until the bills come in. With Oscar, I spent close to $1,000 for heart specialists, X-rays, etc. But when the vet told me of a $2,500 exploratory surgery that likely would have killed him on the table, I could not do it. Was it the money? Yes. But if the surgery was sure to save him, I'd have spent it anyway. With Scooby, I didn't hesitate to spend $350 for vet visits to remove the cancer twice from his throat because initially he was feeling good otherwise. But after the second visit, the vet said the growth would be too large to remove again. I knew then it was only a matter of time. Only you can be the judge of what it is worth to you and your pet to save him.

Written by Iris Wolfe

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