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Related Reading
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•
You're
Gonna Love This College Guide
• The
Complete Idiot's Guide to College Survival (Complete Idiot's
Guide to...)
• Getting
Along With Almost Anybody: The Complete Personality Book
|
Where to Find Friends
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•Dorm social events: They may sound cheesy,
but go to the first few and familiarize people with your
name and face.
• Intramural sports: Even if you have zero
hand-eye coordination to participate directly, go out
and watch some games.
• Religious organizations: If you're going
to practice spirituality anyway, why not get to know others
who share your views?
• Parties: But if you don't know anyone, how
do you get invited? Joining a sorority or fraternity is
a great way to guarantee an invite.
• Classes: This seems obvious, but sometimes
in large auditoriums it's hard to keep up with new people.
Try sitting in the same spot every time. People tend to
stick with a certain side where they feel comfortable.
If you do also, you'll be able to get acquainted with
those around you. |
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Freedom,
Friends, and Fitting In
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It felt like Christmas — and it was only July! In
one week, my parents got me a new comforter, curtains, and
a leather planner.
I was only going away to college, but it seemed more like
I'd won a mini lottery. Shopping for college was so exciting
that I didn't stop to think how hard it might be once I
got there.
Initially, it wasn't too bad. But soon I felt out of place
and lonely. I met tons of people, yet I hadn't really bonded
with any of them. We all got along fine, but there wasn't
any of the close connecting
I craved.
Soon, other things started to bother me. It sounds silly,
but walking became a nuisance. I mean, my campus doesn't
encourage freshmen driving and made it incredibly difficult
to park, let alone go anywhere in a car. Back home, I drove
everywhere. Now I had to hurry to class, hike to libraries,
and haul my laundry up four flights of stairs to my dorm
room. With all this walking, I quickly learned to dress
in a "lazy college style." Comfort on campus means
more than fashion.
All these changes, including the absence of Mom's cooking
and small seminar-like classes, made me feel like a little
fish in a titanic pond. I started to wonder how strong a
person I truly was, but somehow I struggled through, and
lucky for you, I'm a semester away from graduating. Allow
me to share my hard-earned knowledge about college life
and adjusting to it.
• Temper great expectations: Making a bunch
of lifelong friendships within your first few months at
college doesn't always happen. Sure, you hear about people
meeting future spouses at college, but honestly, this is
a time that markets freedom with no strings attached. So,
nine times out of ten, you'll end up dating,
but not getting too serious.
• More time doesn't always mean more freedom: In
high school you spent close to 35 hours a week in class.
In college it'll probably be more like 12 to 17. In the
eyes of most freshman, this means extra time to party or
lounge. WRONG! One thing to remember is that college professors
dish out a much heavier workload
than high school teachers. If you want to pass your classes,
use that downtime wisely.
• Roommates do not equal soul mates: Part of
the excitement about college is meeting your new roommate.
Looking through rosy-colored freshman lenses, you may carry
this hope for a live-in best friend. There's nothing wrong
with wanting that, but if you set your hopes too high and
then your roommate
doesn't meet your expectations, your disappointment may
be heavier than those five loads of laundry you take home
for Thanksgiving. Instead of getting upset with a roommate
who has her own exclusive circle of friends, worry more
about maintaining compatible lifestyles.
Written by Anna Marie Neri
Questions or comments about this story? E-mail
us!
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On the Web
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How
to Get a Good Night's Sleep
Stress Management
Time
Scheduling Suggestions
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Can't We Get Along?
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Every once in a while, a college student is blessed with a
good-natured roommate ... every once in a while. Randomly
selected roommates may mean domestic trouble. Here are some
tips for resolving and preventing conflicts:
• Compromises can keep the peace: Your roommate
likes to stay up late chatting on the phone, but the noise
and the light hinder your slumber. Instead of dictating her
phone usage, offer to let her use your Instant Messenger,
which she can read without the lights on. Just turn the sound
off and you're ready to hit the hay. If that fails, split
the cost of a cordless phone, so she can talk in the dorm
hall instead.
• Don't bottle up your emotions: Have a hard time
with confrontation? E-mail or leave a note for your roommate
explaining exactly how you feel about that certain annoying
habit of his. Keeping your feelings inside causes resentment.
The end product may be a future explosive argument between
the two of you.
• Make like a vacation package and be all-inclusive:
Maybe you have tons of friends already, but your roommate
might not. Go out of your way to include your roommate in
your social outings. Even if you're not crazy about your roommate,
she'll appreciate your kindness and will probably respect
you for it.
• Don't be narrow-minded: Chances are, you and
your roomie aren't going to be two peas in a pod. Take time
to learn about your roommate's cultural, ethnic, and religious
background. Talk about yours as well. Knowing certain lifestyle
expectations upfront will help in the long run. |
