It's 15 minutes till quitting time. You're tired and cranky, and your eyes are crossing like a circus clown's. Suddenly, your boss adds "a few more projects" that need to be finished before closing up shop. So with fists clenched, veins popping out of your head, and teeth gritted you say ... absolutely nothing.

Face it. You just can't say what you want at work without facing serious consequences. From 9 to 5, it's as if the First Amendment's on hiatus, and your right to free speech is suspended. Here are some frustrating work situations where not keeping mum will have you skating on ice so thin you can read through it.

The Boss Is there anybody in the world for whom you harbor more silent resentment? Maybe Alan Greenspan.

"They" tell you it's all about communication, feedback. But who's going to share his or her feelings at the risk of offending the boss?

The boss adds another task to your inbox. "I'm not doing it," you feel like saying as you chew on your thumb to keep from shouting the words in her face. Or when the head honcho stupidly suggests the impossible once again, you'd love to spit back at him, "I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."

Coworkers and Gossip Company gossip can create conflict, especially when the rumors reach the person they're about. No doubt Linda will be upset to hear that she gets more smashed at the company parties than Pete Sampras' tennis balls. But, trust me, she'll be enraged if the rumors question her work ethic. Go ahead, be the one to say Linda is, frankly, ineffective, unimaginative, and clearly not cut out for the job. See what happens.

The Phantom Pounds, the Ambiguous Age, and the Tawdry Tie It's pretty self-explanatory. You just can't say someone's fat, old, or wears ugly ties. And don't even think of refusing to donate money to a coworker's birthday fund ... you just might find your cubicle in the parking lot.

The Copy Machine and the Coffee Maker
Try any of the following:
• Run through the entire office, screaming that the fifth paper jam is THE sign you've been waiting for. Yell to everyone that the copy machine technician has sold his soul to Mephistopheles and now you're certain the photocopier, like Linda Blair, is possessed.
• Sprint into the nine o'clock executive meeting and inform the managers that the devil, in exchange, now owns several of them.
• Verbally attack the lady who thinks she owns the coffee machine (there's always one lady). Tell her the brew tastes like wet napkins.

These will definitely mark you as the company crackpot.

Written by Jorge Aguilar

Have you said something at work you probably shouldn't have? Tell us about it.